Bob said, “I am stuck here in my office but my school friend Robin is in Vianna enjoying his life”.
He further added, “I saw his facebook posts recently”.
These are everyday gossip we hear all the time in all places.
Because we don’t have time to compare our lives to our past self, but we always have time to compare our lives to other people’s lives.
If we compare our life to others, we get nothing but envy, the worst enemy of all.
Remember, knowing, doing, and then realizing what you knew and what you did, is the most powerful edge in life.
Not spending time to realize where you were is certainly the road to failure, and road to unhappiness.
We don’t spend time in comparison of knowing, doing, and the final realization of the outcome in our own life.
Our comparison to other’s lives only creates dissatisfaction.
Envy is the cancer of our mindset, we can become influenced negatively so fast by the success of others.
There is nothing wrong with this attitude because it it natural but it hinders our self-reflection and self-growth.
Abhi is a corporate CFO.
Natasha drives BMW.
But, I drive a Chevrolet.
This pattern of thinking is the key to our frustration.
Who we are as individuals, what we actually want, and what are our core values become overshadowed when we compare ourselves to others in various things.
BMW might give a little more comfort in our body while driving, but both are tools to solve our problems in the same way and most importantly both are not different to ingrain mental experience.
The funny part is our mind doesn’t distinguish BMW and Chevrolet, it only absorbs experience of driving.
It doesn’t mean I am against BMW, I am just against comparison.
We are so quick to idolize ourselves to Bill Gates, Elon Musk, and Tony Robbins and think that their path to success is our key to happiness.
But we never review our everyday activities, habits, and especially diets.
Envy is a difficult human emotion, we all feel it.
It’s really hard to manage if we become prey on it.
Envy also takes our focus off from our own work and passion.
We completely erase our own goals and are attracted to passing-by shiny objects.
When we have envious feelings, we try to copy someone else’s success, we completely forget our own path.
We forget that there are different paths to reach the same destination.
False comparison is actually the cause of envy, we shouldn’t compare our first chapter of a book to someone else’s final chapter.
We shouldn’t compare fictional stories with non-fiction stories because both have different sets of target readers.
Each of our life has different paths to lead different destinations.
Mahatma Gandhi never compared his revolution with other rulers across the world who used force in their demonstrations.
In his time period, no rulers were doing peaceful demonstrations across the globe.
He was exceptionally good to follow his sheer determination, not to follow what others do.
Mahatma Gandhi, in his famous “Quit India” speech inspired every single indian to liberate themselves from British rule without using violence through peaceful protests.
Mahatma Gandhi is not only the inspiration of individuality but also the symbol of wisdom.
When we compare ourselves to others, we can’t differentiate among information, knowledge and wisdom.
Information is simply facts or data or somebody’s opinion; but knowledge is information of value.
If we are unable to differentiate these two, then we will remain foolish even though we watch news all day on television.
Similarly, knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit but wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.
Never ever think that having an abundance of knowledge is the same as having an abundance of wisdom.
The actual understanding of relationships among these elements: information, knowledge, and wisdom is possible when we stop comparing our lives with others but only with our own past self.
When we compare ourselves to others we become envious, we start to work more.
Most of the time grossly, not with a cool and calculated mindset.
We think working more might be the only option.
We confuse ourselves and think that more is better.
We forget that more is never the substitute of better.
Better is always better.
This feeling inside us comes when we are free from comparison.
Envious people also start to work more in negative perception and the more work turns into fatigue.
Fatigue leads to compromise in our health, family, and friends.
It’s definitely not better.
If we aim for more in a corrosive environment, we invite stress, conflicts, and deteriorating health.
But if we aim for better with self-reflection, we invite greater freedom.
Multiple scientific research has shown this trend over and over again.
I remember the conversation between two dads in one of the conferences where I was also a participant.
One dad said, “I rarely get to see my kids, that’s a risk you have to take in life.”
Another dad replied, “Is it really worth it?”
The first dad added, “I have to make payments for my BMW.”
The second dad again replied, “Chevrolet runs the same like BMW but the difference is Chevrolet gets time to give rides for your kids but BMW doesn’t.”
I just listened and laughed but didn’t respond.
The conversation was hilarious and worth-consuming.
However, there is also a good part of envy which is the result of comparison.
Sometimes envy becomes like a forest fire, we all know envy isn’t good, but it also stimulates some part of our human growth.
The forest fire burns the old trees to make space for new trees.
The heat of the fire pops open the seeds so new trees can grow.
Same happens with envy.
Just as a new tree can’t grow while the fire is still burning, a new you can’t grow higher while the current envy is still inside you.
However, as soon as your current envy dies down and a new you begins, the next you take off.
Envy also diminishes trial and error from our life, we just compare the outcome.
We hope for the best, and only dream.
And, oh, we develop the habit of comparing ourselves to others during lunch and dinner.
Anything great in our life is a process of trial and error.
We try something, we see results, if happy we continue, if not we eliminate.
Science is so fascinating that it doesn’t allow us to prove anything, it only allows us to disprove our thoughts by results.
We can accept and keep working on the remaining thoughts until we can’t disprove it.
But if we become envious by comparison, we disprove it without working.
We never try, we never take even a small risk of working to disprove it.
Risk taking is essential to sooth our envious character.
We all know there is still a chance, one in a million chance that when we go on a car trip, we may die.
But, we don’t, however, let it stop to visit our dad.
We don’t let it stop to visit our grandma.
Or do you?
Then why are you afraid to take even minor risks in life?
Take a risk and sooth the envy.
Remember, we all came into this world naked and we will leave this world naked, we are here to fill the gap of birth and death by our own choices in life.
Be humble, dump your envy, and never ever compare yourself to anybody else.
You are unique in this generation, there is nobody like you on the planet.
Thank you for your time.
-Yam Timsina
Progress for valued society