What did you find in your destination?

It was a winter evening in Virginia.
I was at a gathering.
My friend’s boss was an author and a researcher in a reputed publishing house.
We were outside in a garden and she told us a story about how she found her amazing husband, a university professor.
At one point of her career, she was working as a sales assistant in downtown Chicago and she used to ride a train to commute.
One day she became late and missed her train for office.
She was sad, irritated, and upset and blamed herself for being lazy.
She also missed an early office meeting on that day.
In a grumpy mood, she was waiting for another train to catch.
A man appeared in the train station, who was a graduate student in Northwestern University.
Long story short, she pointed to her husband and said that if I wouldn’t have missed that train on that day, I would certainly miss this amazing man from my life.
And I was attending to celebrate their 21st marriage anniversary gathering.

This story taught me why we should cherish every single moment of our passing life irrespective of the nature of moments.
Life is made up of various small passing moments which most of the time we neglect in need of bigger goals and destinations.
Actually life happens when we are hustling for something.

You are attending a party for your recognition in your office because you got a promotion, and suddenly you receive a call from your mom that your dad is diagnosed with cancer.
As we all know we are not perfect, we all have issues in the family, you were avoiding your brother’s call but suddenly you heard that your brother died due to chronic heart attack.
Recently you got furlough, you were in stress so you forgot to call your mom on mother’s day.
This is only a small glimpse of our everyday life.
Since most of us have a tendency to feel good only if things are going our way, all the time we are trying to control everything in our lives.
If we rush only for a destination by brushing off pure moments, our life becomes hollow and we suffer a lot.
I think this is not the way to live a life.
Beauty of life remains in all moments of hustling, pain, suffering, and happiness.
We have to observe, absorb, and assimilate all of them.
This is a process of life.
Destination is a by-product of our process.

Everybody says life is not for a destination, life is a journey but very few actually adopt this mantra and apply it.
Many of us are always in rush, workloads, family schedules, kids responsibilities, and health schedules. Many of us have side hustles along with our main profession too.
Nonetheless, we run around constantly trying to get something, trying to control something, and trying to determine where the destination is in our lives.
We carry so much tension, anxiety, and fear that we completely forget the flow of life around us.
If we run only to catch something then we miss many things in life.
Life becomes hell.

There is always an interval between any two tasks, if we don’t live in that interval and always worry about the next pending task, then we are not living a life.
That interval between two tasks is actually a life process many of us don’t identify or ignore.

Current corporate world has also ignited the concept that vision-driven leaders recognize the destination rather than path. They said destination matters not the path.
In reality, it doesn’t apply all the time, because life isn’t business.
Business needs the end product faster to get profit faster, but life itself is not the business of only profit and loss.
Life is more of exploration of paths so that we become healthy and happy.

One day I visited my friend Nitesh’s office due to some personal affair.
The other day he told me he had a hectic schedule for that day even though he invited me to his office.
When I reached his office, he was on the phone.
He signaled me to sit on the chair, later I knew he was talking to his elder sister.
His nephew was selected for the national championship for swimming competition.
He expressed his happiness and support for his nephew and sister for their achievement.
He ended that call in less than two minutes but I felt that those two minutes talking were really thrilling and encouraging.
I asked him, “Did you finish your presentation this morning?”
He replied, “Yes, I did.”
It was fantastic and the client appreciated his strategy and hopefully they are going to sign the contract very soon.
He added, “I have another presentation at 4pm.”
Looking at his freshness and energy, I asked him, “Nitesh, how do you manage all of this?”
He asked, “What do you mean?”
“You are so fresh, so energetic and you accomplish so much so easily” I added.
He replied, “There is nothing new, I just keep things in perspective, I know how to utilize the moment and how to accomplish it without burning my life.”
He added, “To be honest, those two minutes which I spent with my sister on the phone was my interval time between my two tasks, those two minutes were best for the day and that keeps me moving my whole day smoothly.”

He further told me that there are two types of people in this world. One type who stop their work due to rainfall. They hate it and blame the rain for their stoppage.
The other category of people who enjoy every bit of moment, even the rain and lightning.
They enjoy every passing moment and accomplish their task.
They said, “Oh it’s raining, so nice. Rain is wiping out the dust of the environment, so fresh.”
“I am in the second category,” he added.
“I can enjoy my life in seconds, I don’t need minutes to enjoy it.”
This whole universe is around us for more than 13 billion years, any natural processes around us were here before we were born and will remain here until we die.
The manifestation of each moment is amazing so that we must accept the natural result.
We become more energized and excited in our task if we cherish the interval of life.
We can not avoid the happening moments.
We have to accept them as they are.
There is beauty in acceptance.
We must know how to laugh in our tears. We must know how to cry in our laughter.
This isn’t complicated to understand, there is also an interval between laugh and tears, we just don’t apply it in our life.

Interval is about understanding where we’re going, and destination is the road we’re planning to take but still don’t have road signs. Interval comes first because we have to make road signs to reach a destination.

The important thing is that we don’t have to find our final destination at once, and we can avoid wasting a lot of time and worry trying to find a destination.
Destination is not a once-and-done phenomenon.
It’s a continuous process.
If we don’t enjoy every passing moment, we move towards boredom and disinterest, and destination without inspiring and happy process leads to destination without further direction.

If we focus on what is happening around us rather than what isn’t happening, our progress becomes exponential, not incremental.
One simple example.
Garrett Camp and Travis Kalanick, the founders of groundbreaking transportation today, Uber, were freezing at night in the streets of Paris because they couldn’t get a cab.
The moment was painful for them but they translated the moment of pain to revolutionary transportation business without owning a single car.
They have just one app.
If we appreciate every single moment whether it is a painful or happy moment, blue-sky ideation arrives.

We shouldn’t suffer and bleed in the process of life, which is very simple; enjoy every bit and every piece of it.
As we all know many people during their time said that two brothers Wilbur and Orville Wright were stupid.
Their destination of making a “flying machine” was criticized by many as a foolish idea or impossible task.
Instead they enjoy every single obstacle they faced.
They accepted and appreciated every single moment of not having the sufficient resource that they needed for their final destination.
They never finished high school.
They were self-taught.
The only thing kept them moving forward was the excitement of the process of making a “flying machine.”

Loving the process rather than destination is our tool to change the status quo.
Process itself should be a catalyst for passion and excitement.
Every single moment around us is a process, so nurture it, cherish it, and enjoy it.
Reaching a destination provides immediate satisfaction, but the process of achieving a destination provides a lasting satisfaction.
There is no destination in life, once you reach your destination, another destination appears, so enjoy the interval.

Thank you for your time.
– Yam Timsina