I received a phone call from my friend Sam who asked me, “What are you doing at home during the stay-at-home order, anything new?”
I became more aware by the phone call of how I was spending my time. Little regret but no complaint.
“Nothing, same as usual.” I replied.
Actually, I read two very special books besides my regular professional books, journal articles, trade magazine articles, and reviews. The first book I read was ‘Contagious’ by Jonah Berger related to branding in the current hype machine social media age. One of the key concepts that I learned in ‘Contagious’ is that most people don’t think in terms of information provided to them but they always think in terms of narratives of the information. Quite an interesting book to know what sticks in people’s minds.
‘Poor Charlie’s Almanack’ by veteran investor Charlie Munger is the second book. This book is not related to investing only but to life philosophy. Munger, who is the principal architect in Berkshire Hathaway, said that the safest way to get success in life is to try to deserve what you want because at the end of the day the world does not reward undeserving people.
One important lesson I learned during stay-at-home order is how painful it is to be online at home without in-person or face to face interaction with the outside world.
All the time either talk to family members inside the house or spend most of the time on the screen.
I definitely got more time with my family, there is nothing wrong with this extra advantage but I also realized the value of face to face in-person interaction more than ever as one of our human evolutionary innovations. Once we miss something, we experience more of its value.
I used to think someday online digital work will replace the onsite in-person work.
But now, I highly doubt it in a practical sense because it’s hard to beat evolutionary human conversation.
“Human face to face in-person interaction is one of our best human evolutionary innovations.”
Life is a series of social and face to face in-person interactions. Both are vital, but if we interact in person more, it works more in our favor mentally and spiritually. If we don’t interact in person more, it weakens us, it decays us internally.
Our biology corrodes us from inside.
I am reporting my sincere observations supported by research. I have studied a scientific foundation to support the significance of in-person interaction.
A psychiatrist and author of ‘The Good Life’ Dr. Robert Waldinger, MD, shared lessons from the Harvard study of adult development, one of the longest-running studies on human life and well-being. Dr. Waldinger revealed that good, warm relationships keep us happier and healthier, while loneliness and isolation kill us. My personal observation and feeling of the past few weeks are completely making sense with Waldinger’s research outcomes.
Talking and sharing information in-person are some of our most fundamental human behaviours.
In-person actions connect us, shape us, and make us who we are in our society.
Our words from mouth are not always persuasive online on the screen as they are offline face to face.
There is always a hype around social media so that we ignore the importance of offline words from mouth.
Now it is the proper time to ponder to understand the value of being offline.
Think of your offline conversation for the first time with your dating partner after having multiple online conversations. Also think of your online job interview and onsite job interview and your own experiences to their evaluation process.
Being offline is about spreading love, life, and quality relationships.
And being offline is natural, sustainable, and healthy. Cal Newport, the author of ‘Digital Minimalism’ says “When low-quality digital interactions including text message and likes replace high-value face-to-face communication, we replace human connection with human conversation.”
“Being offline is about spreading love, life, and quality relationships.”
Recently during this stay-at-home order, one of my friends, an assistant professor in university, complained to me, “Online teaching is boring, I have no enthusiasm to teach, I don’t see my students’ lively faces and most importantly, I don’t feel their expressions.”
“My teaching is very dry.” He added.
As said by New Calport in ‘Digital Minimalism,’ now I am a firm believer that offline conversation is way more powerful and prevalent than online messages.
We were devaluing the offline activities because we like to spend time online, and never actually compared the real difference between online and offline.
Now this is the moment to compare what’s going on inside our brain, body, and as a whole health.
Facebook, Twitter, Zoom, and Youtube are technologies, they are not living things. They provide strategies to perform the task as tools but can not replace human physical liveliness.
Do you know why facebook and twitter conduct in-person conferences spending so much money and resources?
Because these giant technologies inventors know at their core that humans are built to transmit the power of words via face to face in-person interaction.
They are quite aware that their invention is just one tool of many to expedite human experience, but not to replace the same.
“Facebook, Twitter, Zoom, and Youtube inventors are aware that their invention is just one tool of many to expedite human experience, but not to replace the same.”
Another most important lesson I learned during stay-at-home order: There is a huge difference between spending time with family and with the outside world.
Malcolm Gladwell, the author of ‘Outliers’ talks a lot about the importance of family culture to become real outliers in the world. Of course, family is our foundation of social and emotional creation, but beyond family there is a growth component of our skill and talent, a measurement part of life’s success.
Skill and talent requires a significant amount of time to master but it happens mostly outside of home with colleagues, coworkers, mentors, advisors, and community members.
This is the main reason we have a community to share community news, we have medical and engineering laboratories to practice, we have Costco and Home Depot to shop, and we have our manufacturing offices to work and collaborate, just to name a few of them.
We can appreciate our family time as an incubation period but our outside home time is interaction time for our skill and talent to prosper and mature.
Mastering any skill and talent in life is a process and that happens through talking to friends, customers, coworkers, and observing gestures of mentors rather than inventing it online at home.
When we meet and talk to others in-person, we don’t only transfer information and knowledge, we transfer something about ourselves, human lively vibration. Being outside home in the middle of other people is about tapping our genuine enthusiasm for whatever we find useful, fun, and attractive for us.
“When we meet and talk to other people in-person, we don’t only transfer information and knowledge, we transfer something about ourselves, human lively vibration and emotional conversation.”
Outside home interaction is more than simply nodding, responding, and listening.
Understanding yourself is the secret of outside interaction.
People who make mistakes often are those who allow their emotions to control their decisions, which is one of our biggest enemies when it comes to poor social interaction.
For example, I have made more poor decisions online than offline personally.
We are missing many things during this stay-at-home order.
We are not getting a chance to chat at a party or eat with our coworkers.
We are not having face to face conversation in churches, temples, chaitya, and mosques.
We watch movies at home but don’t get a chance to share with a colleague during lunch with full physical vibes.
What do you feel when you don’t get a chance to share the hilarious movie plot with your best friend at coffee break?
Nothing is more satisfying and thrilling than when you and your friend go to a cozy restaurant and dine with a full swing of chat, giggles, mesmerizing conversations.
This is called human necessity and we are missing it terribly.
We are understanding its value more than ever before.
“Nothing is more satisfying and thrilling than when you and your friend go to a cozy restaurant and dine with a full swing of conversation.”
We can share our thoughts and opinions online but nothing can replace offline chat, meeting, and laughter.
We are excited to talk about our vacation plans with our close friends at dinner gatherings, but now it has become a distant memory.
Imagine telling a story in front of a group, how entertaining it would be rather than posting online.
My kids are not able to share the warm weather with their close friends to go fishing.
My daughter once asked me, “What is the price of freedom?”
I said freedom is priceless.
Her question was sarcastic because we were planning to go to Orlando, Florida, Disney World, and my daughter had a dream to shake hands with Mickey Mouse and Goofy.
Ultimately, we are social animals, our words from mouth need people around us, their expressions, and our instant responses.
We are missing all of these.
I really like the idea of Natalie Alzate, the author of ‘Offline Humans”, who says offline life is not about demonizing technology, but about creating intentional space for real-life presence, mental well-being, and authentic human conversation.
Please watch Sherry Turkle, a MIT psychologist’s TedTalk “Connected, but alone?”
Conclusion
Human face to face in-person interaction is one of our best human evolutionary innovations. Being offline is about spreading love, life, and quality relationships.
Just keep in mind that Facebook, Twitter, Zoom, and Youtube inventors are aware that their invention is just one tool of many to expedite human experience, but not to replace the same.
When we meet and talk to people in-person, we don’t only transfer information and knowledge, we transfer something about ourselves, human lively vibration, emotional conversation, and more. Remember, nothing is more satisfying and thrilling than when you and your friend go to a cozy restaurant and dine with a full swing of live conversations.
Yam Timsina, PhD, writes primarily on health basics, scientific progress, social upliftment, and value creation.
Disclaimer: “Please note that some links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through them, at no extra cost to you.”
