“The only thing that is constant in this world is love.” -Unknown
I was a new member in a book dating club, I didn’t know what exactly it was.
I was a bit early in my first meeting but a girl appeared maybe after 5 minutes of my arrival.
I was sitting on a very comfortable dining chair and she sat beside me.
We introduced each other, her name was Sammi.
I couldn’t resist my inquisitive mind, but anyway, I broke the silence, I said to myself, never mind Yam, let your mind do the work.
I stopped my internal chatter box.
I asked Sammi, “What kind of book do you love the most?”
I was thinking myself for a second, how nerd I am, unknown person, first meeting, and first question in the book dating club.
She replied so quickly that I was amazed, “I love books of great experiences, great thinking, and great innovations, and as a writing style, of course, my boyfriend Megda’s romantic style.”
I said, “Megda.”
Without stopping Sammi continued, “I don’t know but my mind knows immediately that I’m with Megda when I read romantic love story.”
How long have you been in love?
“We have been in a relationship for the last five years and we are planning to get married next year,” Sammi replied.
By the way, Sammi, “how did your love story evolve with Megda?”
“Many years ago my dad started this meeting, a book dating club. It was basically three families, 6 adults, myself and Megda. We would meet once every three weeks at the dinner table. We would discuss one hour about the book that could transform our lives and eat dinner together,” she added.
“One day, we were discussing the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, MD, PhD, we got attracted to each other and fell in love with our common spirit and connection. This was the beginning of our relationship,” she explained.
As Sammi’s words, she was eating, her parents were there, her eyes were occasionally stopping on Megda’s face.
She realized the words that Dr. Frankl said in his book: “love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his/her personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless you love the person.”
Sammi and Megda’s interests were very similar. They would spend time on similar activities, they would go fishing and grocery together, they go running and walking together, they go to movies together, and they also cook together, as Sammi said.
Among some differences, Megda would eat fish a lot but she likes to add vegetables to any kind of meat.
The last time Sammi had the best was broccoli and tuna mixed.
Love is unconditional kindness
“For me love is to be in a happy state mentally and physically.
I and Megda’s life philosophy is same, we both believe that this one time life is our amazing gift that nature has given us, so why not to explore it and enjoy it to the fullest?” she added.
She said that she remembers a day, Megda and she were on the patio, they were the same thinkers, they were scanning the evening sky and trying to find pleasure in identifying their favorite constellations even though there were no constellations.
This was pure love, they both felt deep connection, they both felt deep love.
they both felt pure love for nothing.
Amazing.
In our conversation Sammi gave me the crux of their love life.
She told me that the reason she fell in love with Megda so much is because he’s made love as nonjudgemental forgiveness in his life.
She said that she’s seen Megda’s unconditional kindness to all persons, things, and events without exception.
He believes a lot of money itself doesn’t make us happy, but if that money buys our time, autonomy, and life experiences, then we become happy.
One day we’re taking an evening walk, I asked him, ” Megda, if you don’t like where you live right now but you can’t afford to move, what do you do?”
He said, “I’ll adapt to my current place.”
“Sammi, happiness doesn’t lie in the choice but in making a decision in choices and removing the unnecessary choices,” he further added.
“To be honest, I fell in love with this man in every word and deed,” she smiled.
Sammi believes that we should not suffer and hold any pain in life, this is the real experience of love above anything else.
I do believe that all pain and suffering arises solely from ego and ego arises when we don’t love ourselves.
The best medicine for pain, suffering, and ego is love.
Just love the other person, love people, love animals, love plants, love nature whatever your mind desires to love.
Just love, express and explore love.
Love from heart and love from mind
Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now” said “Loving is a state of being.”
It’s a forgiving, nurturing, and supportive way of relating to this wonderful world.
It’s not that only educated people or rich people or happy people can love well and others can’t.
Love is equal for all no matter what.
Love is neither intellectual nor philosophical, and doesn’t proceed from either mind, real love always comes from our heart.
If you love someone or something selflessly then your heart works not mind, but if your love is selfish then only your mind works.
Real love, love from the heart has the capacity to lift others and accomplish great feats because of its purity of motive.
“Pure love takes no position, it is global and universal, it is above separation of any kind,” Sammi added.
“I and Megda both have understood this for a long time,” she further added.
I do believe that love is inclusive, it expands the sense of self progress and the goodness of life.
It increases positivity and dissolves negativity by reorganizing our priorities.
When we reach this stage, this is the level of true happiness which is mental calm and a broader sense of responsibility.
When we become more patient we realize that our love from the mind is often associated with quick decision, a kind of force but our love from the heart is calm and spiritual.
When our heart feels love, there remains no conflict inside us, we lean towards non-violence and cooperation.
Friedrich Nietzsche, a German philosopher and poet, said “The crusade of love is a negative thought in our mind.”
If we hold the negative thought in mind, a very specific muscle in our body becomes weak.
If we replace negative thought with positive thought, the same muscle instantly becomes strong.
The connection between mind and body is always immediate based on our thoughts and associated emotions.
So, the best form of love comes from heart, not from mind.
One example of love from the heart is love towards our children.
Love towards our children never comes from mind, it comes from heart.
No matter what, we love our children, we burn yourself but still we want to give light to our children.
We can’t see electricity, x-rays, microwaves, or radio waves but we experience their intrinsic power by their work.
Love is the same, we don’t see it, but we definitely observe its effects.
“As a book dating club active member for so many years, I experience a high state of consciousness frequently. As a deep reader of many thinkers and authors, I frequently attain different states of peace and joy,” Sammi added.
In my experience when we love somebody or something from heart, we inspire humanity and peace, our thought process for love becomes effortless, our body seems to move with grace and ease.
We experience joy which is different from success.
We can achieve this state of love by any activity that we enjoy doing.
It never happens from any forced work.
Love never comes from force or any forced work.
Love teaches us to become venerable.
If you are great, you can become venerable when you teach anyone with love and lead by example.
It isn’t what you have already, nor what you do daily, but what you have become through a loving process that inspires all of mankind, and that’s what we honor all the time.
We have confusion that love means high respect and care. In reality, high respect and care is a very small part of love, it is a small measure of our emotions.
bell hooks, the author of “All about love” explains this confusion of respect , care and emotions in love. bell says that the word ‘love’ is most often defined as a noun, yet we would all love better if we used it as a verb.
It is a very high degree of insight in our body and mind.
Love is perseverance, courage, concentration, and enormous drive. An unusual degree of dedication towards love of any work leads to mastery.
Love is absolute integrity and power that Sammi always feels when Megda talks to her.
Conclusion
Keep in mind, out of hatred comes love, out of defeat comes victory, out of failure comes success, and out of humbling comes true self esteem.
These are the characters we need to nurture love.
Love is very transformational in human lives.
When we love someone or something intrinsically, a miracle happens.
We can take example from Jesus Christ, as we all know who he is.
Jesus Christ taught for only three short years but his love of teachings transformed all of western society for generations.
This is nothing but transformational love.
The teachings from Christ lie at the center of western history for the last 2000 years.
Let me end here with one recommendation from my heart, please accept this as a genuine experiment to test from a scientist.
Throw yourself wholeheartedly into the love of someone or something, whatever or whoever appeals to you, whether you believe in it or not and just experience a miracle in your life.
I read recently a new book about love “It Begins with You” by Jillian Turecki, there are nine truths about love. I pick one, my favorite, “You cannot convince someone to love you.”
Yam Timsina, PhD, writes primarily on health basics, scientific progress, social upliftment, and value creation.
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