Whether you accept it or not, life is unfair.
Sometimes, it works to our advantage, sometimes to our disadvantage.
We all experience disappointments, setbacks, pain, and sufferings somewhere along the way.
Sometimes we get pain and hardship for which there is no reason and no one to blame.
It might be cancer, it might be an accident, it might be a financial loss, it might be losing a loved one in the family, it might be getting business shut down due to war or pandemic.
It could be anything, we can’t predict its nature at the moment.
What separates us in such a situation is not the presence or absence of hardship or setback, but how we deal with its inevitability.
“One of the hallmarks of more resilient and stronger people who go through hardship is their ability to convert life stories into positive strength as numbers.”
If we looked at people who had suffered such serious adversity in life like cancer patients, war prisoners, accident victims, refugees, or similar difficult life experiencers, and let’s say, finally all of them survived.
Research showed that all of them fall under mainly three categories.
The first category were those who were permanently dispirited by the adversity and hardship, they couldn’t stand up again and lived their lives normally, the second category were those who got their life back to normal and lived their average life, and the third category were those who used the adverse experience as the defining moment of their lives that made them even more resilient and stronger.
One of the hallmarks of more resilient and stronger people who go through pain and hardship is being able to convert life stories into positive strength as numbers.
“At the end of the day, what matters in life more than any other things is your own inner scorecard, your own happiness, and your own dignity.”
So, the question is how do you convert life stories into positive numbers?
In my opinion, this is a big one, it’s a great skillset and takes a very long time to master, but we have to start somewhere during our lifetime.
One simple example I found in my reading is Warren Buffett’s life.
Warren Buffett is 94 years old now and started to read these stories very early in his life, especially reading business, biography, history, and human psychology.
As Buffett says, these stories do not give temporary or fleeting knowledge which evaporates the next day, but they provide continuous permanent knowledge to null the hardship and make us more resilient.
If you spend time reading only today’s market trends or political news or celebrity gossip, that doesn’t give you permanent knowledge, but if you read human psychology or economics and business books then they provide you permanent knowledge.
This reading habit adds up as a compound interest in our lives that very few people understand and realize to reap the benefits.
This compounding power gives us an edge and tool to decipher human understanding of our judgement to tackle difficult problems in our society.
The truth is today’s economy is a knowledge economy, so we have to use our time judiciously.
Interestingly, what Warren Buffett does throughout the day is he reads five to six hours in a day in a quiet room in Omaha, Nebraska, and channels this acquired knowledge into big positive numbers through his calm and calculated judgement.
In the past, people used to tell him he is out of touch, outdated, old fashioned, cheap, because he didn’t care much except his own internal spirit, reading habit, value measurement, and happiness.
At the end of the day, what matters in life more than any other things is your own inner scorecard, your own happiness, and your own dignity.
At the moment, he is not only one of the richest billionaires and philanthropists on the planet, but also the most humble and down to earth human being.
“To become more resilient, any tool is just a factor but more important is how passionate you are as an active participant for the cause.”
We have to look at the past, but we must think about the future.
The future is always different from the past but reading human history and psychology gives guidance and power of human rationalization.
We know history may not repeat any time soon but history helps us to simplify a complex world into a single organizing idea for the future, a basic principle that unifies and guides everything.
Warren Buffett says “It doesn’t matter how complex the world is, reading and thinking in a quiet room helps to reduce all challenges and dilemmas to simple and achievable ideas.
Reading doesn’t give us a goal, strategy, or any immediate intention, but it enhances our human understanding.”
Resilient people accept uncertainty by rationalizing human history and they deal with it carefully when time arrives.
This is courage but history teaches us to be strategic while applying uncertainty in practice.
History is more or less associated with risk tolerance and risk affects value because risk could be tangible as well as intangible in life.
To become more resilient in life, we have to reduce the noise in our everyday life, especially produced from radio, television, and social media through the internet, that is most of the time just distractions for our life signal.
We have to find what we are deeply passionate about.
We must focus on those activities that ignite our passion rather than these noises.
The main idea is not to stimulate our passion but to discover what makes us passionate internally.
For example, if you win the bike race, what is more important for you, you as a biker or the bike?
Of course, you as a biker is the primary factor, because the bike is secondary.
So, to become more resilient, any tool is just a factor but more important is how passionate you are as an active participant for the cause.
“Resilient people are more disciplined people, they have disciplined thoughts that bring disciplined actions.”
Likewise, in today’s world, internet technology is also a tool.
Any technology which, of course, comes at a certain time periodically, is not everything. If it was, again in history, Vietnam wouldn’t have won against America because America had way more powerful advanced fighting force.
Do you know VisiCalc, the first computer spreadsheet?
It came well before Excel sheets, do you remember anyone using VisiCalc today?
I don’t think so.
Remember, there were many technological leads in all sectors in the past which we know nothing about now.
Apple didn’t have early lead in computers, Daikin didn’t have first lead in AC electrical systems, Facebook didn’t have pioneering in the consumer internet community.
Therefore, lead technology isn’t the only factor of success.
Wrong and thoughtless use of any tool and technology becomes a liability, not an asset for advancement in our life.
For example, mindless scrolling of social media all day doesn’t make us resilient, it just corrupts our life.
We have to understand that tool and technology is an accelerator of momentum not a creator of it.
We have an iPhone in our hands, but whether it is a liability or asset, it depends on us how we use it.
Resilient people lead with questions, not answers, when they interact with people in society or in any place.
A lot of these questions can be taken from informal meetings, talks, gatherings where there is no script, agenda, and set of action items to discuss.
This is a great place to know the ground reality.
They always engage in dialogue and debate, not coercion.
I’m a scientist by profession, so, they make debates like heated scientific debate, with people engaged in a search for the best answers.
These discussions and debates are catalysts to convert their stories into positive numbers.
Resilient people are more disciplined people.
Disciplined people have disciplined thoughts that bring disciplined actions.
Most of the time, disciplined actions beat charisma and talent.
Indeed, for those of you with a strong charisma and talent, it is worthwhile to consider the idea that these can be as much a liability as an asset.
Your strength of charisma and talent can sow the seeds of problems, when people filter the real facts from you.
“Dan Buettner: We can live longer and better not through pills, surgery, and medications but by good foods we eat, the company we keep, and our own positive perspectives on life.”
Resilient people love ‘stop doing list’.
Do you have a ‘stop doing list’ in your life?
Most of us lead busy but undisciplined lives with long ‘to do lists’.
We try to do more, more and more, but it rarely works in today’s knowledge economy.
We have to make a ‘stop doing list’ before making a ‘to do list’.
Remove extra junk from your life, this obviously makes your life more clear and worthy.
When you think about one big idea in a quiet room, also think about the associated smart people that we have witnessed in human history. This helps us to organize our thoughts. For example,
-Sigmund Freud and the unconscious.
-Charles Darwin and natural selection.
-Karl Marx and the class struggle.
-Albert Einstein and relativity theory.
-Adam Smith and division of labor.
-Watson and Crick and DNA structure.
What did these smart people do?
They took the complex idea and simplified it, see what is essential, and ignore the rest, this is how we improve our signal to noise ratio in life.
Again, I’m inspired by Warren Buffett, who frequently says “One of the greatest assets of human beings is character attributes which are more powerful than educational background, practical skills, specialized knowledge, or work experience.”
It’s not that education and skills are unimportant but they are teachable and learnable whereas character, work ethic, basic intelligence, dedication for commitments, and value measuring capacity are more ingrained.
When Warren Buffett hires people to run Berkshire Hathaway, a multibillion dollar company, he puts these attributes before educational background and work experience.
Finally, you can not ignore your health status, resiliency and health body walk together.
I recall my own father here.
By the grace of God, my father is 94 years old now and has good health status without any chronic disease and regular medication.
One day, last October, I asked my dad about his view on death.
He said, “I don’t want to die, but I don’t fear it either. I’ve learned and mastered the art of life and accepted the inevitability of its end. Nothing is forever. Remember, all good things come to an end.”
The only thing I said, at the moment, was I won the lottery, I was born as your son, and hopefully I will be able to nurture the same strength, resiliency, and good perspectives on life as yours.
Dan Buettner, the author of the must-read book “The Blue Zones” says “We can live longer and better not through pills, surgery, and medications but by good foods we eat, the company we keep, and our own positive perspectives on life.”
This is not a mere statement but a mantra to live a resilient life.
Conclusion
One of the positive perspectives of life is to be healthy, and learn the tricks and tips to nurture healthy habits.
You can not ingrain resiliency if you are always sick and your body is crumbling.
One best tip I learned is, move your body naturally all the time, my favorite move is a long walk.
Dr. Brian Wansink, author of ‘Mindless Eating’ says “Running wouldn’t be worth the sweat and discomfort, and walking will get you there at a reasonable and painless rate.”
We have to take our life as an easy task, one step at a time. Don’t be too lazy to walk, use your time to value exercise, and enjoy the nature around us as much as you can.
This is a pure stress reliever that allows peace to occur in your mind.
Just relax and rejuvenate.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the years is not only long walks but also eating nutritious food, especially big breakfast with whole grains, fruits, milk, and nuts that fuel my body for most of the day and have fewer cravings for bad sugary and fatty foods.
This is the secret tonic that gives me power to walk a few miles everyday.
I assure you all that resilient life doesn’t have to be born itself, we have to earn it by a few simple habits throughout the day in today’s fast paced world.
Yam Timsina, PhD, writes primarily on health basics, scientific progress, social upliftment, and value creation.
Disclaimer: “Please note that some links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through them, at no extra cost to you.”
