I praise you because I am clearly and wonderfully learning; your works are inspiring, I have not fully understood them well yet, but I am making a great progress.
-Dedicated to my father
I live in the US, and our current president is Donald Trump, who happens to be the 47th president, the most powerful man on the planet.
Many people may not agree with the last words of my previous sentence, but I said ‘most powerful man’ on the basis of other people’s view. Still the majority of the world population believes that the USA president is the most powerful man on the planet. I found Forbes ranking only from 2018 that puts Donald Trump in 3rd position after Xi Jinping, and Vladimir Putin.
But if anybody has any disagreements, I wholeheartedly respect those views because there are thousands of reasons not to agree.
But, anyway, my intention is not to go in that direction.
At the time of each USA president’s victory, each of them and the whole country generally think they achieved something incredible and something amazing.
The hard reality is, if you ask any US citizen, it’s almost impossible to find anybody who can name many former presidents.
Most of them are deceased now, we all forgot them except a few whom we always remember like Abraham Lincoln and George Washington.
Why do Americans always remember Abraham Lincoln? There are many reasons for it as noted by his biographer Michael Burlingame in Abraham Lincoln: A Life. Despite his difficult childhood, contentious political career, a fratricidal war, and tragic personal losses, Abraham Lincoln preserved a keen humor and intellectual maturity that proved to be his most valuable asset to win the Civil War.
We will be forgotten
The reason I’m bringing this up is if we forget US presidents after they are gone then what about ordinary people like us?
My point is, one to two years after we are gone, most of us will be forgotten.
Do you realize this?
The only people who remember us are our family and close friends.
We will only live on in our family and close friend’s memories.
In my view, this is the ultimate achievement, all of us will ever get, at least in this life on this earth.
So what we can do, my learning lesson is, always make sure, always make sure, we love our family and our close friends.
The real happiness is hidden behind our family and close friends, nowhere else.
Do you know, why are you happy when you buy a nice, warm and comfy sweater for your father that he wears occasionally?
Try to find the answer, don’t ask him, you will find it if you try.
Why do you travel 400 miles to such a hot place where your elder sister lives?
It’s the same question, if you ask your inner self genuinely, you will find the answer.
In both cases, the answer inherently is the same, both are your family members, you have shared many things with them including happiness, comfort, pain, and suffering.
If something happened to you, only they care and remember you, nobody else.
Even though you live far from them now, you still have many memories with them alive and will remain alive until you are gone from this world.
If we were to stop 500 people in the street and ask them “what is your greatest happiness in life?” how many would say, “anything not related to the family or close friends?”
My guess is nobody.
Bruce Feiler, author of “The Secrets of Happy Families” elaborates scientifically how we can create stronger parent child relationships, manage the chaos of our lives, and still bring happiness together in a family.
Many times, we make decisions in our lives but they never become really good decisions in reality.
We made decisions based on what it does for me at the moment, what it says about me immediately, and how it makes me feel for the moment.
If our answers are not congruent with our inner self for at least a certain time from now, we will never become happy with our decision, we remain vindictive and unhappy. It applies to everywhere inside the family and workplace.
Happiness, state of mind and family
Abraham Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs has “self-actualization” at the top, which basically means self-motivation or intrinsic motivation.
Similarly, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s famous theory of “flow” also states the total absorption in an activity that also indicates self-motivation or intrinsic motivation.
These both theories work pretty well if we are connected through our family and close friends because our intrinsic happiness is connected in both states of mind through them.
At one point in our life, we are destined for financial security but once we feel kind of financially secure, we come to know ourselves better and we learn what we find most fulfilling in life.
One of the most fulfilling aspects in life is our relationship with family and close friends.
Meeting with them, talking to them, sharing and spending time with them become the most fulfilling life experience.
Everybody has problems, every house has problems, we have issues in relationships. When a problem exists, whether at home or in relationships, the time to act is now.
We don’t regret it if we act now but the same regret kills us if we become late.
What I learnt over the years is that each person in our family has strengths to lean into and weaknesses to overcome.
Just think of this, if you are not talking to your father for a long time for whatever reason, how do you live if by some reason your father is gone from this world?
I’m sure you will die by regret, just by regret even though you are alive.
When we talk about anything openly, even if it’s in an uncomfortable way, change can happen, I’ve seen it happening.
Healthy open disagreement gives room for willingness to communicate.
If we don’t communicate then we can’t fix a problem we don’t know about.
From birth to death, very few things remain as it is. Family and friends are one of them. Many things will change in our lives but they don’t.
We must learn how to keep our family intact, because family is the center of our happiness.
Oprah Winfrey, media proprietor and author of “Build the Life You Want” said, “Family is where life begins and love never ends.”
If we properly know what family is then we will know how to handle pain, happiness, frustration, sorrow, dissatisfaction, success, and failures.
We happen to have many mentors in life, but our father and mother as a mentor is someone who’s brought us up along with our siblings, experiencing life when we’re growing up. Our parents showed us looking up at the neighborhood while holding our hand and thinking about us, the whole world, and it’s aspirations.
Thomas Jefferson, Henry Ford, and family values
We learnt the value of humbling in life which mostly comes from our family and especially from our father and mother.
Thomas Jefferson is one of America’s Founding Fathers and 3rd president of the USA.
Of course, he wrote The Declaration of Independence but he always said, “I’m entirely a farmer, soul and body, never scarcely admitting a sentiment on any other subject.”
For him, agriculture was the most precious of arts.
What a humbling character as a symbol of unity and value of the nation!
When we know our bond with our family, we can become great at what we do.
One simple example is Henry Ford.
Many people have the misconception that Henry Ford invented the automobile but the credit for the automobile invention goes to Karl Benz.
At least we are familiar with Mercedes Benz to remember him.
As the finest innovator of all time, Henry Ford used assembly line technology and made the automobile affordable to the mass population.
He kept family bonds together as many families were unable to afford a family car back then, he made it possible.
He not only changed the world of transportation but also elevated the strength of family bond forever.
“The People’s Tycoon” is a detailed book about Henry Ford by Steven Watts, a historian and writer who discusses about his humble beginnings, his business philosophy, his revolutionary approach to manufacturing through the implementation of assembly line techniques, and his views on entrepreneurship and innovation.
Karl Benz was a great inventor and Henry Ford was a great innovator.
Both men were kind family men and their successes were motivated from the essence of family values.
We don’t have to be a genius to be successful. Everyone is smart in certain areas, we just have to stay around these areas and get support and love from our family.
Try to bring small cheer in the face of your father and mother, spouse and kids.
Just delight them everyday if you can.
Actively engage to uplift your family, your neighborhood, your community, and your country in some way from your side.
That’s the secret of happiness we ever get in this life.
Conclusion
We always think that our possessions are our lasting values, but often we get greater happiness when we spend our money and time on family, close friends, and experiences.
Naturally what happens is when we have more possessions, we have to take care of them and they end up possessing us.
The more stuff we have, the more time they take from us and there remains almost no time for our fulfilling important activities. As we all know time is a limited resource.
Brand new Mercedes Benz doesn’t bring more happiness if we already have another vehicle at home.
Don’t get me wrong I love to drive brand new Mercedes but I wouldn’t trade my fulfilling activity time with the care of Mercedes Benz. I would not trade my time to substitute to see my parents, to eat with them, and create special time with them.
Nothing beats flying across the country to see dad and mom.
Please, always know the difference between finding happiness and creating happiness. Katarina Blom, a psychologist’s TedTalk could be an inspiring resource for it.
You might be thinking where is the answer to the title question of this piece of content, I hope by this time you already know the answer but if you don’t know, here it is.
We will forget the USA president after he or she is gone from this world but we will never be forgotten in the memories of our family and close friends after we are gone from this world.
Yam Timsina, PhD, writes primarily on health basics, scientific progress, social upliftment, and value creation.
Disclaimer: “Please note that some links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through them, at no extra cost to you.”